Proverbs 1:1 — Knowing Who You Are

“The proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel.”

As a child growing up in Scotland, I was taken into care after running away from the family home several times. I didn’t have a strong understanding of who I was, where I fitted or what my purpose might be. I remember staying in one foster carer’s home where I experienced what it felt like to be accepted and loved. That night I cried myself to sleep. I knew I would be leaving in the morning, and I wanted to hold on to the security I had found there. I couldn’t have explained it then, but I can now: I had experienced belonging, and suddenly understood how much I needed it.

Perhaps that is why the opening words of Proverbs catch my attention. Before we hear what Solomon knows, we are told whose son he is. He is introduced within a relationship and a history: Solomon, son of David.

The small word son reminds me that identity involves more than our work, qualifications or achievements. Those things tell people something about us, but they cannot carry the full weight of who we are.

Gallup’s strength of Includer helps bring this into everyday leadership. Includer notices the person at the edge and asks, “Can we widen the circle?” There is a difference between being allowed into a room and someone communicating, “There is a place here for you.” That foster carer’s kindness gave me something I had been missing. As leaders, we may never fully know what our welcome means to someone else. Belonging also needs discernment. We can welcome people without giving every voice the same influence over our identity, values and decisions.

Steven Covey’s Habit 2 — Begin With the End in Mind encourages us to decide what matters and live from that centre. Otherwise, the need to belong can become a need to achieve, be recognised or always be needed. I recognise how easily we can spend our lives trying to answer questions that began much earlier.

Instead of asking, “What must I achieve today to prove who I am?” perhaps we could ask, “Because I know who I am, how will I choose to live today?”

At Jesus’ baptism, before his public ministry unfolds, the Father declares, “This is my Son, whom I love.” That speaks deeply to me: identity comes before activity.

Take a moment to consider:

• Am I leading from knowing who I am, or trying to prove who I am?
• If my title and responsibilities disappeared for a season, what would remain true about me?
• Who could experience a greater sense of belonging through my kindness today?

What will you do differently?

Blessings

Allan (please feel free to share the link to these readings with friends and family – and to leave feedback below)