Proverbs 1:1

The proverbs of Solomon, son of David, king of Israel:

MY STORY — 

As a child growing up in Scotland, I was taken into care by the local authorities after I had run away from the family home several times. I grew up without a strong understanding of who I was, where I fitted, or what my purpose might be. Kindness made a huge impression on me. I remember staying in one foster carer’s home where, perhaps for one of the first times, I experienced what it felt like to be accepted and loved. That night I cried myself to sleep. I knew I would be leaving that house in the morning, and I wanted somehow to hold on to the security I had experienced there.

Looking back, I don’t think I had the words for what was happening inside me. But I do now. I had experienced belonging. And having experienced it, I suddenly understood how much I needed it.

That is one reason the opening words of Proverbs catch my attention. Solomon is about to give us a book filled with wisdom, yet the opening sentence doesn’t begin by telling us how intelligent, successful or wise he was. It tells us whose son he was: Solomon, son of David.

Before Proverbs tells us what Solomon knew, it tells us something about who he was and where he belonged.

KNOWLEDGE — 

The word I want to notice is “son.”

In Hebrew: בֵּן — ben — son
In the Greek Septuagint: υἱός — huios — son

Simple words, but important ones. Solomon isn’t introduced in isolation. He is Solomon, son of David. His identity is placed within relationship, history and belonging. We often introduce ourselves differently: our job, qualifications, achievements, responsibilities or success. Proverbs begins its journey into wisdom by locating its writer relationally.

Before Solomon is identified by what he does, he is identified by where he belongs. Perhaps wisdom begins there more often than we realise.

UNDERSTANDING — “Seeing it through Clifton Strengths”

Strength: Includer

Includer has a natural sensitivity to belonging. Someone with strong Includer notices the person standing at the edge: Who hasn’t been asked? Who hasn’t been heard? Who doesn’t quite feel part of this yet? The Includer’s instinct is simple: Can we widen the circle?

My childhood story makes that deeply personal. There is a difference between being somewhere and belonging somewhere. There is a difference between being allowed into the room and someone communicating, “There is a place here for you. ”That foster carer probably had no idea what was happening inside one young Scottish boy that night. But kindness communicated belonging, and belonging touched something very deep. This is where Includer helps us understand Proverbs 1:1. Human beings don’t simply need to know what they can do. We need some understanding of who we are, whose we are and where we belong.

But every strength needs maturity. Wanting to include people doesn’t mean every voice should have equal influence in our lives. We can welcome many people into the circle without allowing everyone into the places where our identity, values and decisions are formed. Belonging needs openness. Influence needs discernment.

WISDOM — Turning insight into action

Steven Covey: Habit 2 — Begin With the End in Mind

Covey challenges us to live from a clear centre rather than allowing circumstances, pressures and other people’s expectations to define us. Habit 2 asks us to decide what really matters before the noise around us decides it for us. That connects beautifully with this opening verse. Before we hear Solomon’s wisdom, we are told something about his identity. Before the instruction comes the relationship; before the doing comes the being. For much of my early life, questions around identity and belonging weren’t theoretical: Where do I fit? Who wants me? Where do I belong?

Those questions can follow us into adulthood in more sophisticated disguises. We can answer them with achievement, position, busyness, recognition, being needed or even helping other people. But none of those things can safely carry the full weight of our identity. Perhaps there is another way to begin. Instead of asking, “What do I need to achieve today to prove who I am?” we can ask, “Because I know who I am, how will I choose to live today?”

That’s a very different starting point. Wisdom isn’t simply knowing what to do. It begins with knowing who you are.

New Testament Connection — Matthew 3:17

Proverbs begins by identifying Solomon — who he is and the responsibility he carries. In Matthew 3:17, before Jesus does anything publicly, the Father declares: “This is my Son, whom I love.”

Both remind me that identity comes before activity.

Reflection:  Am I leading from knowing who I am, or trying to prove who I am? Pressure often tests whether I remember who I am.

REFLECTION TIME –

A good professional supervisor doesn’t necessarily give us another answer. Sometimes they ask the question that makes it difficult for us to keep giving ourselves the same answer.

• Where are you allowing your role to define you more than your identity?
• Who has been given a voice in shaping how you see yourself — and have they earned that influence?
• Where do you experience genuine belonging rather than simply inclusion?
• When you create belonging for others, what might you be giving them that you once needed yourself?
• If your achievements, title and responsibilities disappeared for a season, what would remain true about who you are?

What will you do differently?

Knowledge notices the word. Understanding connects it to who we are. Wisdom changes what we do.

And sometimes one small word — son — takes us back to the question underneath so many others: Do I know who I am, and do I know where I belong?

Blessings

Allan (please feel free to share the link to these readings with friends and family – and to leave feedback below)