Proverbs 3:31 “Do not envy a man of violence and do not choose any of his ways”
I liked hanging out with him. There was always something happening, and he was always in some sort of scheme to make money. We had fun when we hung out and did stuff together that made you feel like you were living.
We would go to the homeless shelters at five in the morning and have breakfast with the guys there and chat with them. We would go out to the car auctions and he would look for bargains that he could respray and sell on quickly for a profit.
He had friends that owned nightclubs and restaurants and bars, he was known everywhere. The nightlife people of the city were a different sort of species, coming alive at one o’clock in the morning, going to bed at sunrise and sleeping till midday. Every day was an adventure. I loved the sense of doing the unknown every day I think. I was young and impressionable.
But there was another side to him as well. A temper and violence that could come out anywhere, was unpredictable and unstoppable.
One day we decided to go to London, so we drove through the night for around ten hours to get there and spent the day in London. The next night we drove back to Scotland again. We pulled off the motorway to fill the car with petrol and grab some food.
At the petrol station, another driver came round in front of us facing us to fill their car. They were facing the wrong way to get back onto the motorway, but their petrol cap was on the different side of the car. We finished filling our car, paid and then were blocked in a bit with the guy in front. My friend called to him to move to let us out, and he asked us to wait a couple of minutes till he was finished.
My friend was out of the car in a flash and the next second was laying into this man. It was both totally unexpected and shocking to me.
He got back in the car and manoeuvred out of the tight space we were in, and as we finally got past the car blocking us, in his anger pulled the gear stick out of the gearbox, it was a Ford Granada manual car we had.
So for the next three hundred miles we had to have a pile of our clothes over the hole in the floor (to stop the wind coming in) where the gearstick went, and every time we were slowing down we had to remove the clothes and somehow wrangle the gearstick back into its position while we navigated the changes in gear. It was a long night, and if I remember correctly it was snowing as we crossed the border back into Scotland.
I think that was the turning point for me, I had seen flashes of anger before but I did not really want to be in these situations anymore, no matter how much fun it was to hang out. It was only a matter of time until we ended up in serious trouble.
KNOWLEDGE
We have in some ways the flip side of the previous verse – we should neither get into strife with anyone who does us no harm or finds ourselves craving what violent men acquire for themselves.
This is the thirteenth mention of “way” so far in Proverbs. Such is the intent of the writer, to both ensure we comprehend both the familial relationship and our choices, as exemplified by the use of “son” forty-nine times and the eighty-one mentions of ways or ways in the book of Proverbs. The choices we make are at the heart of his instructions. Therefore we see that the father’s relationship and the ways of the son are at the very heart of the wisdom described in Proverbs.
Forceful people who have tempers and are violent frequently may appear to the onlookers to be successful, as they force their way towards wealth and influence. It would be possible, if we let our guard down, to find ourselves glancing sideways at their seeming success.
We may think they have what we want. And we may think that the way they get it is worth our consideration. The writer is warning us to neither compare ourselves with these people nor to be influenced by this approach.
All we need will be found in the living wisdom of God, as we culture twin habits of gratitude and cheerful obedience. Thank you, God, that we get to freshly choose our “ways” each day. We can truly build up great habits, and a great future, as we continually make great choices.
UNDERSTANDING
Let’s pick one word from this verse to look closer at and see if that can help us gain a deeper insight into how God would love us to live?
The word ‘choose” is pronounced “bahur” in Hebrew and is found 168 times in the Old Testament [ESV]. The English words used in the translation are, choose; chosen; desire; rather be; more acceptable; joined with; and, preferred. In our verse [31] is means to decide or even to select.
WISDOM: who do you compare yourself to?
STRENGTHS THOUGHT Relator values authenticity in relationships and this positions you for real conversations. Don’t make excuses for others’ behaviour.
Allan’s Unauthorised Version – [don’t be jealous of, or look with longing eyes towards those who live in destruction and ruthlessness, don’t decide to follow or select this way of life and this behaviour.]
PRAYER: Father, thank you for today. Help me today to make great choices in who I spend time with and what I allow to come into my mind and heart today.
Feedback is gold to me! Please do scroll down and leave a comment. Thank you!
Thank you pastor Allan.
Yes, we need to be so mindful of our daily choices and I think we need to pay attention even to our thoughts. We should be able to differentiate thoughts that are from God and enemy.
Authenticity in relationships and this positions you for real conversations. – So good!
So important who we choose to do life with.
Allan I hold my breath when I read your stories about decisions you made as a young man. Pleading with God that you would be ok. And the same is for the youth in my home and the stories of their friends just getting a taste of the world . I know I’ve heard of some of their friends already caught up with drugs drinking and bad company. It breaks my heart . I am so saddened . I only feel compassion for them and pray for them as I don’t ever see them anymore. They believe they are living a high life of adventure but the cost is great and already my son sees the damage of the drugs and sees their lives crashing. He doesn’t think they will be able to survive the life for long. Lord Jesus please overshadow them till they find you I pray .
“ All we need will be found in the living wisdom of God, as we culture twin habits of gratitude and cheerful obedience.” this is a beautiful powerful thought. Thank you Pastor Allan
This is so true and really love this – All we need will be found in the living wisdom of God.
Thank you Ps Allan for encouraging.
Next time, make sure the car is automatic. You have a wealth of experience that many people can harness without having to go through it. You are a champion Allan.
Amen. Thank you Pastor Allan. What you’ve shared is so insightful and relevant to my life. I’m grateful for all the reminders of God’s care and amazing grace.
Pastor Alan every time I read your stories, always drag me straight back 2my glorious days (as a youth), back in the day (70s) there were sooooo much Racial tension, that we had 2b that way to protect ourselves, but it was not all about racism but it was present where ever we went. I had a friend called Colin (born on the same day as me but 2years older) I did everything with him going night clubs and driving around in his black triumph Stag (which was the car of the year in the 70s). Pastor Alan thank you 🙏🏿 for your stories, they really take me down memory lane ( I believe we have soooo much in common)
Thanks Pastor Allan once again!
I see here the importance of choosing wisely the friends who you associate with since these are the people you’ll become like. Being young & naive can be a disadvantage in many ways if you do not have good mentors to show you that character is far more important than chasing riches & the trappings the world has to offer. Seeking after God’s wisdom & learning to be grateful & cultivate a cheerful obedience is a life long journey but with so much reward.
How courageous are you to be with someone so out of their mind?
I had three older brothers. The youngest of the three was a villain. As a young girl growing up, many occasions we were told that this brother was creating some trouble and my parents bailing him out from police custody often. I loved my brothers. But when they get in fights or even raise their voice It will upset me. Anger is a dangerous emotion. No wonder Jesus said “ be angry but don’t let the sun go down in your anger”.
How merciful is God to give us that choice to choose life and peace.
So wonderful to hear how God’s protective hand always with us even when we are not seeing at the time!
Grace alone!
Once again, very sound advice to choose our friends carefully, and to be grateful for all the blessings we have been given. To stay clear of the lure of sinful ways. To cultivate gratitude and cheerful obedience … a beautiful message.
Thankyou Pastor Allan.
It’s taken me 49 years to reach the point of being able to understand you don’t need to meet violence with violence. Most situations can be de escalated with an appropriate conversation. It’s a hard mindset to break after years of training to meet aggression head on. With gods grace and wisdom I’m working on it.
Thankyou Pastor Allan Sharing.
God bless you 🙏
I understand frustration and anger coming through, when others do “wrong” in your eyes. As a youngster I use to get angry with people actions specially when they don’t consider others and act in a selfish ways. My earthly father words always come to my mind when situation that I get angry by others inconsiderate actions. He says” you don’t need to get down their level” now Me as Christian makes more sense as Verse says to “choose wisely” so I “choose “ not to and I had avoided many dangers by “ choosing” wisely.