If we as leaders are going to have relational influence, then listening will become one of our core values and an upgraded skill. Something we will practice, learn from and value.
As a coach I have come to understand more and more over the years the value of simply listening to others tell their stories. In the listening clues and insights present themselves. For you as a leader, a home-maker, a parent, or carer, listening will bring a new depth of connection and empathy.
But what do I mean, when I say, you should learn to listen?
Listening is a cornerstone of effective coaching, as it fosters a deep understanding of your needs, goals, and challenges.
Stephen Covey, in his book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People,” emphasizes the importance of listening first to understand, then to be understood. This principle is crucial in my coaching, as it allows me to fully grasp your perspective before asking any questions.
Henry Kimsey-House and Karen Kimsey-House, in their book “Co-Active Coaching,” describe three levels of listening: Level 1 focuses on my own thoughts, Level 2 involves fully attending to the you, and Level 3 incorporates intuition and openness to receiving more information. These levels highlight the progression from self-focused listening to a more empathetic and intuitive approach.
Julius Ordoñez, a certified coach, notes that effective listening requires me (the coach) to be fully present and engaged, creating a safe and supportive environment. This approach helps you feel heard and validated, which is essential for your personal growth and development
Ayisha Amatullah further explains that active listening encourages self-reflection and growth, as it allows me to gain new insights and perspectives on your experiences.
From a biblical perspective, the value of listening is also emphasized. James 1:19 advises, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry”. This scripture underscores the importance of listening attentively and responding thoughtfully, which aligns with the principles of effective coaching. Additionally, Proverbs 18:13 states, “To answer before listening— that is folly and shame,” highlighting the need to fully understand the speaker before responding.
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Blessings
Allan